Running

After a couple months hiatus I started running again tonight...I only did a mile but boy did that wear me out. I feel really good though...gotta get back into the habit again, it is a really good stress reliever AND it is also good for you too! well, gotta run :P

It is well

Today at church a story was told about the famous hymn, "It is well." It is a very touching story which I will post below along with the words. I am inspired that even when this man lost all that was dear to him he was still able to praise God. I know I would find it near to impossible to have the attitude that he did under his circumstances.

"It Is Well with My Soul" is a very influential hymn penned by hymnist Horatio Spafford and composed by Philip Bliss. This hymn was writ­ten af­ter several trau­matic events in Spaf­ford’s life. The first was the death of his only son in 1871, shortly followed by the great Chi­ca­go Fire which ru­ined him fi­nan­cial­ly (he had been a weal­thy bus­i­ness­man). Then in 1873, he had planned to travel to Europe with his family on the S. S. Ville Du Havre, but sent the family ahead while he was delayed on business. While cross­ing the At­lan­tic, the ship sank rapidly after a collision with an­o­ther ship, and all four of Spaf­ford’s daugh­ters died. Spaf­ford’s wife Anna sur­vived and sent him the now fa­mous tel­e­gram, “Saved alone.” Shortly afterwards, as Spaf­ford traveled to meet his grieving wife, he was inspired to write these words as his ship passed near where his daugh­ters had died.

When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

Prayer and Faith

Okay, I only know of two ppl who actually read this blog but thought I would post about my prayer request on here....I was in the hospital for a week a few months ago and predictably I now have about 5,000 of medical bill debt which was put into a loan type repayment, which is cool, even though the monthly bill is almost 200 we can just manage it, however I got a bill yesterday for about 700 more and I honestly don't know what we will do about it. So I put it on my fridge because I am going to fast and pray that God will supply on this...I ask that whoever reads my blog simply pray and agree with faith that God is bigger than any amount of money and God will provide for us. I have also started looking for a job, part time nights maybe weekends to help get some stuff paid off so pray I find a good job no matter what it is and that I will have a joyful spirit while I work. That is all for now :)

Seventy times Seven

Man, the past few weeks I have really struggled with forgiveness. There is one particular person in my life that I have had a very rocky history with. It's been literally years since this person wronged me but when I think about it I feel like it was yesterday. I have made contact with this person and told them about my struggle to forgive them and they have sincerely asked for my forgiveness. I am shocked at how hard it is to "let go and let God". I just read through the Bible passage on the story of the unforgiving debtor and it really hit me hard. I always just attributed that story to financial problems or dishonest work ethics, but in the last verse it says, "that's what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters in your heart." I think that God will not pour out his blessings on you if you don't forgive as you have been forgiven. I have still been blessed by God, but I have only had a small trickle of blessings compared to the overflowing blessings he wants to rain down on me. So now I am the one in sin because I have not forgiven a fellow believer who has confessed his sin to me for reconciliation. I feel like the little train that could...in my mind I keep saying "I think I can, I think I can, I really, really, think I can." This makes me realize that it is a matter of will. I am battling God's will with my own. I don't want to forgive, I want them to be hurt as much as I have been, even though God has truly brought suffering on this person. I am ashamed to admit that but it is the truth and the truth will set me free :) I need to stop thinking I can and start deciding "I will" today, at this very moment , turn this hurt and anger over to the One who has so clearly forgiven me. Not my will, but Thy will.

Tad Howard

I found out today that a high school friend of mine, Tad Howard, was found dead last week. They have not released many details about his death but it def. appears to be foul play, possibly a shooting. I am very sad right now. Tad was such a fun person. I remember so many study halls of joking around with Tad and Toby and getting into all kinds of trouble with them. I hope they find whoever is involved in Tad's death. I don't know for sure if Tad really knew the Lord, but I am hopeful that he did. RIP "tadpole".

But what's in the trunk???

Today we took the kids to Charles Mills Dam to play in the creek and on the playground. When we got there, I noticed a man sleeping in his Lincoln Towncar. While it may not be that odd to nap in your car I thought it was weird since it was only 9:30 am. I also noticed that the dude's trunk wasn't latched and thought that was odd. Fast forward about 2 hours and we are getting ready to leave and I notice the guy has literally not moved a muscle the whole time we have been there. So I decided to go check on him and see if he was alright. So I go over to his driver side window where he has his head propped up and thankfully I can see he is breathing. Then I see 4 prescription bottles next to him along with a ladies purse. 3 of the bottles are empty, the man has a wedding ring on, so I am curious where the wife is at. So after saying "sir?!" about 4 times I cautiously shook his shoulder a few times and he came awake and looked around at his car and his hands while I ask him if he is alright. He mumbles he is just fine and I tell him to take it easy and have a good day. So we loaded the kids up and were getting ready to leave and he falls asleep within a couple minutes. So hoping he was fine and I was over dramatizing the situation I do the logical thing. I call 911! So the tell me to stick around until they get there, lucky me. I was so afraid that they would come out and he would be sleeping off a night of drinking and I would look like an idiot. Well, looks like he was actually trying to kill himself...no joke! I thought this was very sad as he was whisked away to the hospital. I'm glad he didn't die in the parking lot. After the police came out and looked the car over I was hoping they would lift the trunk lid up. I just figured if the guy was killing himself it was prob. over his wife. Maybe I watch too much CSI but I thought it was odd that he would leave his trunk lid popped. Like he wanted to leave an explanation for his actions since he had no suicide note that I could see. The cop did pull some papers off his dash but they were waiting for someone to come out or something before they would actually look in the trunk....Maybe I will read about the incident tomorrow but my money is on the lady who owned the purse being in the trunk. I hope I am wrong because that would be sad as well but I will have to update when I find something out. Definitely not an average trip to the park!

case of the mondays

It is 2 am. Why am I awake? Good question, wish I knew the answer. I did stay up to watch a movie but it was done an hour ago and here I sit, surfing the internet when I could be sleeping. I just realized how starved for entertainment I am. Something inside seeks information of all kinds, something inside seeks acceptance from the world wide web...Why? Man, I wish I had the answer to that, but I don't right now. I do know that I have struggled with insomnia for over a month now with no end in sight. The only way I go to sleep at a normal time is under medication and since I still nurse Ethan I use medication very sparingly. So the result is I get up exhausted every morning and my first thought is how many hours it will be until I can be asleep again. That is a pretty depressing thought but a lot of ppl prob. think the same thing when there alarm goes off. I can't be the only one out there who does this. Of course my second thought is of my kids, if Emma or Ethan is awake yet, then I see Justin's towel thrown over the ironing board and wonder what he thought when he woke up. I figure he thought, oh crap i have to get up and go to work! meaningless work that will never impact anyone spiritually, total bummer, well, lets get it over with. Then I realize that i am a very lucky person because i for the moment get to impact my kids spiritually all day, everyday and it gives me a reason to go on, to keep praying, to keep waiting patiently for the blessings God wants to bestow on our family, to keep to my faith and my hope strong. And since I am in Ohio for the week I won't be seeing Justin's reminder in the morning, but I hope when I wake up in a few hours my first thought will be of God. I am going to strive to think of Him first every morning. I never thought it would be so hard to simply be thankful for the breath I breathe.

Elizabethtown

Justin and I had a little time to hang out together sans kids and watch a movie. After browsing our selection of 6 movies :) We finally decided on Elizabethtown. I was a little hesitant of this movie since Kirsten Dunst is in it, I am not a really big fan of her, however, Orlando Bloom was also in it so I figured I could suffer through it if need be. It was surprisingly funny and also had an amazing soundtrack, by far the best I've heard in a long time. So as I wait for Justin to finish up getting ready for church I am sipping my coffee and hanging out with Ethan. If you have time listen to the album, it puts me in a really good mood!